


Raising Adam

by Teacup_pirate



Series: Ineffable Parents [1]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crowley is Good With Kids (Good Omens), F/F, Female-Presenting Aziraphale (Good Omens), Female-Presenting Crowley (Good Omens), How Do I Tag, I got my wife to help me post this, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Ineffable Wives (Good Omens), Kid Fic, M/M, My First Fanfic, My First Work in This Fandom, No beta we fall like Crowley, Other, She/Her Pronouns for Aziraphale (Good Omens), She/Her Pronouns for Crowley (Good Omens), Tooth-Rotting Fluff, ineffable parents, since she insisted that I post it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-14
Updated: 2019-12-14
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:28:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21787528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teacup_pirate/pseuds/Teacup_pirate
Summary: What if Crowley didn't take the Antichrist to the Satanic Nunnery? What if they ended up at the bookshop instead?
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Ineffable Parents [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1574878
Comments: 23
Kudos: 165





	Raising Adam

Aziraphale enjoyed the texture of the half melted marshmallows that accompanied his hot coco as he reflected on the day. Despite having to report to Head Office for a vague message that could have just as easily been sent via memo, Aziraphale had had a delightful day. Especially since he had successfully dissuaded several customers from making purchases in the short amount of time the shop had actually been open. Now, he was having a perfect cup of coco and had selected a large volume to get him through the night. The only thing that could make Aziraphale’s night any better was if Crowley decided to call on him. 

As if by Her intervention, the shop’s bell jingled and Aziraphale heard Crowley call out his name like the demon always did when the shop was closed. Aziraphale smiled to himself, but it soon vanished as his wards gave a jolt to keep something out. Aziraphale was out of the backroom in the blink of an eye, his aura giving off enough light so he could see the situation without blinding his demon. Aziraphale found Crowley leaning with his back against the open door frame, one leg crossed over the other in a suave pose. 

“Good evening Angel,” Crowley greeted in his normal casual and slow tone but made no more movements to enter the bookshop.

“Good evening my dear. Is everything alright?” Aziraphale did not try to hide his concern as he continued to approach the lanky demon who was half in and half out of the threshold. 

“Yeah. Ev’rythingssss alright,” Crowley’s hiss betrayed his nonchalant answer. 

To punctuate the false answer, the shrill cry of an infant came from outside the bookshop’s door. Aziraphale looked around the thin demon and saw a wicker basket on Crowley’s crooked arm. 

“Crowley?” Aziraphale asked, flabbergasted.

“Can we come inside? I’ll explain as soon as we are safe inside.” Crowley nearly dropped the basket as the bookshop’s wards once again prevented the infant’s but not Crowley’s entrance. 

“Who’s baby is that?” Aziraphale was still as a statue as he looked nervously at the panicked Crowley.

“It could be ours,” Crowley put on his special Aziraphale temptation smile, the one he used when inviting the angel out to dinner, as he adjusted back into his ‘cool’ lean against the door frame.

“Oh really?” Aziraphale’s huffed as he put his hands on his hips.

Crowley knew he was running out of time and had lost ground in the conversation.

“Please Angel, it’s Lucifer’s. You know I can’t blindly follow orders, its not my style.”

“The Anti-Christ! Anthony J. Crowley! You brought the Adversary, Destroyer of Kings, Angel of the Bottomless Pit, Great Beast that is called Dragon, Prince of This World, Father of Lies, Spawn of Satan, and Lord of Darkness to my door?!”

“Yes I did Aziraphale! Because I can’t trust anyone else!” The truth came spilling out faster than Crowley’s panicking brain could do anything to stop it.

Aziraphale’s mouth dropped open slightly as the verbal declaration what what he already knew to be true spilled from the demon’s mouth. Aziraphale said nothing as he crossed the threshold and took the basket off Crowley’s arm and lifted the lid to expose the still crying child inside. Crowley stumbled into the bookshop, his only sanctuary in the world. He watched as Aziraphale made another exception to the wards and crossed back into the bookshop, the now quiet basket still in his arms. 

Aziraphale closed the door and tumbled the lock before he walked towards the backroom, Crowley followed silently behind. Once in the lighted back room, Aziraphale removed the infant from the basket and settled into his armchair. Crowley melted onto the couch as well as he could despite his overwhelming anxiety. 

“You said you were running out of time,”Aziraphale prompted as he gently cradled the infant in his plush arms.

Crowley hissed a bit, to clear his throat and thoughts, “Sss, yeah. Still running, the baby’s supposed to be with a family by now. Hell is gonna get suspicious here soon if they aren’t already.”

“A family?” Aziraphale asked, not following the demon’s implications.

“I, uh, figured we could raise him. Be better than anybody satanic nuns could stick him with.”

“Nuns,” Aziraphale scoffed before he allowed the first part of what Crowley said sink in.

“We raise him? To stop Armageddon?” Aziraphale’s clever mind raced forward to put pieces together.  
Crowley gave the angel a true grin, “Exactly. I like it here, you like it here. No need for there to be a bloody war and have it all destroyed.”

“But our Head Offices?” Aziraphale’s nervousness kicked in and the baby started to whimper in protest as well.

“We name him and he becomes ours. Having a family triggers the protective non-detection mechanism built in. Neither side would be able to find him.” Crowley waved his hand in a vague gesture to punctuate his point.

“But they can still find us!” Aziraphale protested even as the child’s small whine threatened to become louder.

“Wolfgang or Freddie?” Crowley needed Aziraphale to focus, they could argue the details later.

“William or Oscar?” Aziraphale quipped back still flustered but gave into Crowley’s quick prompt.

“What about Adam? There’s enough irony there to please us both.” Crowley could feel the clock ticking as Aziraphale took the suggestion into consideration.

“Adam it is,” Aziraphale confirmed and the baby hiccuped in response. The tense aura that surrounded the infant dissipated and was soon replaced with hungry vibes.

“Oh dear, I believe he is hungry.” Aziraphale’s panic about Heaven and Hell shifted to the closer issue at hand, he knew very little about babies.

“You make your coco with milk, shouldn’t that work?” Crowley mused as his stress attempted to lower to a sustainable level.

“All I have right now is goat’s milk. That would be a bit apropos don’t you think? And I doubt the chemists that are still open here in Soho would have formula.”

Adam started to cry loudly once more and Aziraphale turned his attention back to the screaming bundle in his arms. 

“Shush Adam dearest. Let me take care of your Daddy first and we will figure out something together. Hmm?”

Adam gave one more protest shriek before a hiccup signaled the downgrade of the screams to forceful whimpers and squirming. Aziraphale looked back to Crowley, who had melted from the couch into the floor when Aziraphale had referred to him as Adam’s Daddy.

“A family right?” Aziraphale innocently explained as he pointedly looked at the disheveled demon in the floor.

“Nnnk,” was all Crowley could manage in response before Aziraphale spoke again. 

“Darling, you look like a nap would do wonders for you. Go on upstairs while our son and I negotiate. I promise we won’t go to the Ritz without you.”

That was it, Crowley was going to discorporate-- Daddy, a new loving pet name for him, a pet name for our son, and one of Aziraphale’s corny jokes. Crowley’s brain and heart felt like a pile of goo and if he wasn’t careful he was going to transform into a snake on the spot. Crowley took off his sunglasses and looked up at Aziraphale who in turn was looking concernedly down at him.

“Nap. That sounds like an idea,” Crowley mashed together a couple of brain cells and rose up out of the floor with serpentine grace as he left his sunglasses on the nearby end table. 

As Crowley passed the armchair to make his way upstairs, Aziraphale put out a hand and gently touched Crowley’s forearm to give the demon pause.

“One more thing Crowley. You know I would do anything for you right? And now that includes Adam.”

Crowley now had four working brain cells at the promise of sleep, “Be careful Angel, you will Fall with talk like that.”

Aziraphale smiled, “Oh dear boy, I’ve already fallen. That is, fallen in love with you.”

The four brain cells gave up all hope and Crowley transformed into a snake, slipping through Aziraphale’s outstretched hand. Aziraphale knew he had pushed the envelope a bit far, but he had to tell Crowley how he felt before his beloved serpent left him alone to indulge in sleep. Aziraphale had to let Crowley know that he was ready to step on the gas as it were. It had been the angel decades ago that told the demon he went to fast.

After a moment, Aziraphale felt the cool touch of Crowley’s scales on his still outstretched hand and turned his attention away from the still whimpering Adam to his love in the floor. Aziraphale gave Crowley a few encouraging strokes on the head before the serpent slithered away and up the stairs just as Adam hiccuped again to indicate that time was up before the wailing would start again.

==========

In the mid-morning, Crowley woke to a voicemail on his cell phone. He checked his call logs and groaned when he saw that it was his Head Office. Crowley dialed the voicemail box and listened in dread to the buzzing in his ear from Lord Beelzebub.

“Crowley. Report to zzze offizzz. Your report on the Anti-Christ izz awaited impatiently.”

Crowley quickly hung up the phone before anyone Downstairs recognized that his mobile phone had been activated and used. He regretted the decision to show them how to speak through electronics. Crowley refreshed his clothes and went downstairs. The gramophone was playing Mozart and the sight before Crowley’s eyes nearly made him turn back into a snake.

Aziraphale had changed his corporation. It was still soft, still curvy but now in a feminine way. Aziraphale was in a light blue dress that was surely straight out of a 1950s housewife dress pattern. There was a slight petticoat underneath with a cream lace trim around the modest skirt hem. Aziraphale’s hair was slightly longer in a curly bob that was held out of her face by a tartan bow hair clip. Aziraphale was bouncing Adam in her arms to the time of the music and the baby was giggling. Crowley announced his presence after a few seconds as the record changed between tracks.

“Good morning Aziraphale. I see you figured something out.”

Aziraphale turned around and absolutely beamed at Crowley, “Good morning Darling. Yes, it was quite a bit of an Effort. I haven’t been a woman in quite some time.”

Crowley tried to remember the last time he had seen Aziraphale present as female but didn’t want to hold the angel in suspense and gave a non-committal, “It has. You look beautiful.”

This compliment earned Crowley a blush and a sheepish glance to the floor from Aziraphale and Crowley took it as a victory. Aziraphale closed the distance between them and angled Adam so he could look at Crowley, the demon had not miracled new glasses that morning. Adam gurgled and reached out for his other parent. Aziraphale smiled and gently handed the bundle, now swaddled in a tartan blanket, over to Crowley before taking a step back to look at the pair, but not so far as to be out of arms reach.

Aziraphale stroked Crowley’s cheek and lightly booped Adam on the nose as she whispered affectionately, “My boys.”

To keep his heart from beating out of his chest, Crowley spoke to Aziraphale but did not take his serpentine eyes off of Adam. “So breast milk?”

“Yes. He is hungry every few hours—I thought I had an appetite. He loves to nap, so he is taking after you already as well.” 

Crowley chuckled before he motioned to his corporation, “So do you think I should?”

“It might be simpler, yes. I was thinking you could watch him while the shop was open and I can watch him while you sleep. Attempt to give him equal time with both of us, both our influences.”

“Brilliant idea Angel. Here, I don’t want to do it while I hold him.”

Aziraphale took the baby and watched with the happiest of smiles as Crowley changed his corporation into its more feminine form. Crowley was still thin, curves more of a suggestion than a fact and to Aziraphale’s delight, Crowley’s hair was long with supple curls. The shirt Crowley was wearing plunged into a deeper ‘v’ as a blouse and the tight pants became a very constricting pencil skirt. The jacket took on a slight change of nipping in where a feminine waist would settle. Aziraphale noticed that Crowley’s breasts were a bit larger than her normal aesthetic, but did not comment in understanding. 

“That’s different,” Crowley commented as she adjusted her clothing and looked down at her milk filled breasts. 

“Quite. We have a couple of hours before my posted hours start. Shall we go on a family outing and you can take your beautiful wife out to breakfast after being up all night with a new baby?”

Crowley’s heart leapt once before it shattered and her face fell, “Oh Angel, I wish I could. Head Office called. I have to report in.”

Aziraphale’s panic from last night returned and Adam hiccuped in protest as well. The noise broke the angel’s spiral as she soon was focused on making sure Adam did not start crying. 

“Now, now, dearest. Mama’s going to be alright. Mommy just has to go to work and then come back for brunch, that’s all.” Aziraphale cooed and resumed a gentle rocking side to side as she looked up to Crowley meaningfully.

“I promise my Angel. My...” Crowley bolstered her courage, Aziraphale had confessed her love, so surely it was Crowley’s turn, “My love.”

Any panic that had clung to Aziraphale melted away completely and Adam was silent. “Then off you pop so you can come back to us. Drive safely.”

Crowley, surged by her declaration of love, did one of the many things she had always wanted to do. She leaned down the short distance and kissed Aziraphale on the forehead before stroking Adam’s cheek. Aziraphale’s face was flushed red and Adam grabbed Crowley’s finger before she could pull it away. Crowley wrestled her finger away, retrieved her sunglasses from the nearby end table, and left the bookshop in a languid swaying of hips and a skirt that tried very hard to contain it. Adam fussed a bit after Crowley left and Aziraphale resumed bouncing both of them to the record that was still playing.

==========

Crowley sauntered into Lord Beelzebub’s office and took the chair opposite without invitation or ceremony. Lord Beelzebub’s expression went unchanged as they finished looking over the report they were reading. They blinked at Crowley a moment taking in the feminine form but rolled their eyes in dismissal, Crowley had always liked to change forms.

“Zzze nuns said you never showed up. Yet zzee child cannot be found, so the protections are in place.”

“I got lost,” Crowley lied, but the lie was brushed off.

“You force me to agree with Heaven, Crowley. As long as the war starts eleven years from now, zze devilish details will have to be forgone. Do you know how much planning it took to get everything arranged just so?” Lord Beelzebub’s tone was flat and annoyed.

When Crowley gave no reply, Lord Beelzebub waved their hand in dismissal, “Go back to work.”

=========

Crowley returned to the still closed bookshop to find her newly made family asleep together in Aziraphale’s armchair. Adam made a small squeak and squirmed a bit in Aziraphale’s protective arms. Crowley closed the distance quickly and pulled the still sleepy infant off Aziraphale’s warm chest. With the sudden loss of extra heat, Aziraphale’s eyes shot open to see Adam against Crowley’s chest as she held him.

“Were you gone long?” Aziraphale asked as she yawned a bit puzzled that she had nodded off.

“No. It was strange though,” Crowley mused as Aziraphale straightened up in her chair.

“Mmmmh?” 

“Heaven and Hell have come into an agreement, they want war in eleven years. My slap on the wrist was in an ‘ends justify the means’ type of comment. Downstairs was more miffed that all their planning had all gone down the drain.”

Aziraphale chuckled, “Then maybe they should not have had you do it then, my love.”

Crowley chuckled along, “My thoughts exactly, wife.” Crowley’s tone then became serious, “Do you think we can do it? We have eleven years to try and get this right.”

Aziraphale rose from her chair and embraced Crowley and Adam in one big hug, “Humans have managed it for millennia. I can’t quite shake the feeling that all this seems a bit ineffable my dear.”

“Don’t thwart my scheming before it begins Angel. Where do you want to go for brunch?”

Aziraphale brightened, the small worry that had begun to build was pushed aside in contemplation of food. “I don’t want to go far. There is a new cafe three blocks over that I have wanted to try.”

“You want to walk?” Crowley drawled in protest.

“Yes darling. We don’t have a proper car seat for Adam and your driving still frightens me.”

Crowley smiled, “Could miracle one up you know.”

Aziraphale huffed, “Maybe you can, they don’t monitor your miracles as closely as mine.”

“Angel? What have you been stewing over?” Crowley asked as she moved Adam to her other arm to hold. Adam was still in the hazy transition from sleep to being awake and just gurgled at the transfer.

“I’m just nervous, that’s all. I had to go to Head Office yesterday and they said to keep an eye out for extra trouble. Please say you did something dastardly that I can put in a report.”

Crowley stroked Aziraphale’s pink cheek, “I took the whole of London’s mobile network down for several hours. A bit tricky, but well worth the payout.”

Aziraphale took in a deep breath of relief as she placed her hand over Crowley’s that was now cupped on the still warm angel cheek. Aziraphale took Crowley’s hand off and placed a kiss in the center of the palm before she lowered their hands, fingers intertwined. Aziraphale lead the way out of the bookshop and onto the street in the correct direction to the new cafe for brunch.

The walk was pleasant, the sidewalk wasn’t too crowded and the slight cloud cover maintained a warm yet not bright light coming from the sun. Aziraphale and Crowley discussed a shopping list for their new baby, both of them would need supplies. About halfway through their journey towards the cafe, Crowley started to switch Adam from one arm to another more frequently than before and Aziraphale took note. 

“Crowley? Do I need to take him?”

“Nah. I got it. Just not used to carrying stuff. I will add a papoose to my list of things so I can be hands free.”

Crowley punctuated her statement by raising and lowering Adam above her head, as she made faces at the infant who giggled in response. Aziraphale beamed at the sight, Crowley had always been good with children. What had surprised Aziraphale was that she found she had compensated well. She didn’t dislike children, they were just not within her Principality jurisdiction most of the time. In the last decade however, Aziraphale had noticed a shift in her Principality to include more children. Aziraphale shook her head to clear her thoughts.

“When you make him sick and he vomits on you, you won’t get any sympathy from me.”

Crowley gave Aziraphale a sidelong glance and spoke to Adam in a sweet voice like honey, “Oh no he won’t. He knows better, doesn’t he?”

Adam’s giggles ended in a hiccup in response. Crowley took the hint and stopped before Adam could prove her wrong. Aziraphale chuckled in amusement and Crowley shot the angel a playful scowl. Crowley conceded shortly afterward and had Aziraphale carry Adam the rest of the way to the cafe. Aziraphale had not even broken a sweat in the time it took the small family to reach the cafe and Crowley looked to the angel in wonder. 

“Angel?”

“Yes darling?” Aziraphale asked as she looked at the surprised demon.

“Are you using any divine assistance? You haven’t struggled once in carrying him.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about dear girl. He weighs less than a brick from the Garden wall. It is no effort at all.”

Crowley blinked in astonishment and opened the door to the cafe for Aziraphale and Adam. The line was just long enough for the angel to decide what she wanted by the time they reached the counter. Aziraphale ordered and Crowley added one black coffee to it before using her credit card to pay. Crowley carried the food to a small round table in the corner that looked over most of the cafe. Not that the demon had any intention of human watching while her favorite being ate, but she was still on alert. Crowley took Adam from Aziraphale so the angel could eat and the world seemed to turn just a bit slower so the demon could enjoy this moment of their new life. 

=======

Aziraphale had delicately savored her first scone and hummed into her tea when Adam gave a whimper. Aziraphale cooed, “Did I make you hungry dearest?”

Crowley looked mystified that Aziraphale could read the infant so easily after only one night together. Aziraphale turned her attention to Crowley as she spoke again, tone alluring.

“Do you want to feed him my love? I’ve heard breastfeeding in public causes quite the stir.”

Crowley laughed, it was if Aziraphale was tempting her to oysters in Rome all over again. Crowley nodded in agreement before looking unsure on how to proceed. Aziraphale stood from her seat, took the two small steps over and motioned for Crowley to hand the precious bundle over. In a smooth motion, Aziraphale unwrapped Adam from the tartan blanket and re-wrapped him so the excess fabric would hide the child from on-lookers. Aziraphale then stood behind Crowley and then lifted Adam up and over the demon’s head and into expecting arms. Aziraphale fussed with the blanket as Crowley adjusted and Adam found his new prize. Crowley gave a small squeak of surprise at the new sensation and Aziraphale gave the demon a kiss on the crown of her head. Aziraphale was faintly glowing as she resumed her seat and breakfast, smile radiant and eyes proudly shining. 

“I’m going to need darker sunglasses if you keep that up Angel,” Crowley commented as a blush slithered onto her cheeks and attempted to consume her whole face.

“Oh, I’m sorry darling,” Aziraphale apologized as she pulled her aura into check, but not before she gave the couple sitting at the table next to them a small miracle in finding a place together.

Adam finished eating before Aziraphale did, and the angel instructed Crowley how to go about burping the child. Crowley miracled away the resulting spit up and soothed the baby into a nap while Aziraphale finished her meal. Adam stayed asleep on the way back to the bookshop, despite having to be transferred from Crowley’s arms and into Aziraphale’s halfway through again.

Crowley snapped her fingers for the bookshop to unlock and let the new family back in. The wards thrummed in welcome as Aziraphale turned on the lights and turned to face Crowley once they were completely inside. Adam stretched in Aziraphale’s arms and gave a moan of protest as the angel handed the baby back to Crowley.

“Sure I can’t tempt you to go shopping with us?” Crowley pleaded a bit.

“Now now, my dear. I have to do my paperwork and possibly sell a book today. It is time for you and Adam to bond together. I’m sure there is plenty of chaos to be had with a day old infant, you wily serpent.” Aziraphale gave Crowley another brilliant smile before she tucked an errant curl out of Crowley’s face.

Crowley’s heart gave a stutter at the gesture, “Pick you up for dinner once the shop’s closed?”

“That would be lovely. Thank you Crowley,” Aziraphale confirmed and had to step away from the attractive demon to avoid the earlier temptation.

As Aziraphale stepped out of reach, Crowley so desperately wanted to close the gap again and kiss her angel on the lips but demon’s memory rang loud in her ears. ‘You go too fast for me Crowley.’ Crowley conceded that the last twelve or so hours had been very fast indeed. Kisses on hands and heads did not necessarily equate to kisses on the lips and Crowley did not want to endanger the new territory she and the angel were in. Aziraphale opened the shop and set to work on her report to Heaven as she heard the Bentley roar into life and pull away from the curb.

========

It was closing time when Crowley walked through the bookshop door, a designer diaper backpack hung from her shoulders and Adam was swaddled in a soft black wrap against the demon’s chest. The last customer was just leaving, passing by Crowley with a huge smile on her face. Crowley noticed a book preciously clutched in her arms and Crowley raised an eyebrow to her angel.

“You actually sold a book today Angel?” Crowley commented as she switched the shop sign to ‘closed’ and locked the door behind the customer.

“It was a second printing in Italian, I still have the first printing. That lovely dear is going to college for linguistics, doing her Master’s thesis on translation variations.”

“Sounds like you might have a repeat customer on your hands if you aren’t careful my love,” Crowley teased as Aziraphale came out from behind the counter.

“All I need is right in front of me,” Aziraphale said as she took Crowley’s free hands and gripped them in her own soft hands with a gentle squeeze.

“Nnnggk,” Crowley managed before being pulled down slightly and given the chastest of kisses on the lips by her angel.

Crowley thanked Someone she did not need to breath and stood frozen in place as Aziraphale broke away from the kiss and looked to Crowley’s face for approval.

“Darling? Crowley?” Aziraphale asked as she took off the demon’s sunglasses to get a better read.

Crowley’s serpent pupils had dilated in shock but glowed in their normal candle light golden yellow. Aziraphale smiled at her accomplishment and gave Crowley another kiss just to make sure it had registered. Crowley’s shock turned to delight at the second kiss and chased Aziraphale’s departure with a kiss of her own. Adam laughed in delight as his parents share a mutual fourth kiss before Aziraphale let go of one of Crowley’s hands and interlaced their fingers of the other.

“I missed you today, my tempting serpent. I felt all those purchases pop across my wards, so I know you have been thinking of me all day as well.”

Crowley blushed, “Have you looked at them?”

“I saw the bottles and the bottle warmer when I went to make tea, but otherwise I have been preoccupied. I knew if I went looking, I would give into your temptation to close shop and go on your shopping spree.”

Crowley’s lips curled into a grin, “I will get to try again in at least a month. Babies grow awfully fast.”

Aziraphale gave Crowley her curt smile, the one that told Crowley she was being a wily serpent indeed. Crowley gave Aziraphale’s hand a squeeze and started to lead the angel to the backroom with an encouraging smile. 

“Come on, I’ll show you what I bought and you can work up an appetite before dinner.”

“Sounds lovely,” Aziraphale responded and squeezed Crowley’s hand in return. 

========

As they settled into their table at the restaurant, Adam gave a sneeze as a woman passed by with an older gentleman on her arm. Aziraphale looked confusedly at Adam and then to Crowley for an explanation.

“Oh, yeah. That’s new. He can smell the sulfur and brimstone of other demons, makes him sneeze. None of them have paid us any mind, too busy with their work to care.”

“Oh,” Aziraphale breathed out in a bit of relief, but was soon replaced with slight nervousness, “I wonder what happens when he encounters other angels.”

Crowley shrugged, “Haven’t run across any yet. Now don’t fret Angel, you’ll spoil your dinner.”

Aziraphale did as asked of by her love and turned her attention back to the menu. Over dinner Crowley talked about the havoc she and Adam had reigned upon the town before the conversation turned to its normal reminiscing of the ages. The main topic was of course over children and the various interactions both the angel and the demon had to add to the other’s collective knowledge on the subject. 

========

“Has he been to your flat?” Aziraphale asked as Crowley pulled away from the curb of the restaurant.

“Yeah. Took a nap together before we came to the bookshop,” Crowley explained as Adam gave a squeak and yawn.

“At least one of us can relax while you drive,” Aziraphale huffed as she renewed her grip on any surface willing to give her purchase as Crowley weaved in and out of traffic at blaring speeds.

======

Adam did not stir as Aziraphale plucked the bundle from the car seat as Crowley retrieved one bag and one box from the dark floorboard on the opposite side. Aziraphale placed Adam in the Victorian inspired bassinet in the backroom of the bookshop as Crowley lounged on the couch with her presents. Aziraphale went to sit in her armchair next to the bassinet when Crowley patted the space on the couch next to her for the angel to join. Aziraphale adjusted course and sat primly on the couch next to her demon. 

“I got you presents. Wanted to give you these in person,” Crowley explained as she took off her sunglasses and placed them on the nearest flat surface and picked up the bag first.

The bag was small, white with blue lettering exclaiming, ‘it’s a boy!’, and had matching tissue paper sticking out from the top. Aziraphale took it gingerly and waited for permission to open it, to which Crowley gave a nod. Inside was a new smart phone in a pastel pink phone case and pop socket with angel wing design. 

“A mobile?” Aziraphale asked as she looked at the aesthetically pleasing technology.

“Yeah. I uh,” Crowley started but her actions always spoke louder than her words ever did. She slithered closer to the confused angel to turn on the device.

To Crowley’s surprise it only took an hour of instruction and practice to get the angel into the twenty-first century. Crowley sent all the pictures she had taken of her and Adam throughout the day and Aziraphale insisted on pictures of the two of them curled up on the couch together. Crowley still suspected Aziraphale would send walls of text messages and spell every word out, but that was what would make it endearing. 

With the mobile conquered, Crowley moved on to her next present for her angel. Crowley put the box on Aziraphale’s lap and waited for her to unwrap the light blue paper. Inside the box there were three different parenting paperback books. 

“I can’t get away from bookshops, one opened up near my flat. The owner recommended these three. Figured you would like to read them and let me know if they are rubbish.”

Aziraphale’s blue eyes started to swim like the pools they were, smile wide and directed entirely on Crowley. Aziraphale sniffed in sentiment before she spoke, “You are so thoughtful my love.”

Crowley returned the smile as she wiped the angel’s tears away, “Don’t cry Angel. Settle in and I’ll go make you some coco.”

After a few minutes, Crowley checked in on the still sleeping Adam before she returned to curl into the soft angel’s side after the delivery of hot coco. Aziraphale adjusted so she could read and lift her coco off the end table without disturbing the serpentine beauty that had snuggled in. Aziraphale kissed the top of Crowely’s crown of red curls and went back to reading the first recommended book. Crowley fell into sleep shortly after, only to be woken an hour later to a now awake and hungry baby.

“Crowley dear, you should go upstairs to sleep,” Aziraphale suggested as she peeled herself out of Crowley’s grasp.

“NNNnnnoo. Warm here. Soft,” Crowley protested as she tried to grasp after the angel who was already out of arm’s reach.

Aziraphale picked up Adam and retook her place on the couch to feed Adam, much to Crowley’s delight. Crowley sidled back up to the warm and soft pillow and placed her head in Aziraphale’s lap. Crowley drifted back to sleep as Aziraphale stroked her hair while Adam ate. This was going to be their life now, and none of them would have wanted it any other way.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Let me know what you thought of it!
> 
> Disclaimer: I know nothing about raising children, so all mistakes are mine.
> 
> Currently this is a oneshot, but it could end up being a series. I haven't decided if I'm done with this AU yet.
> 
> By the way, I blame my wife for this. She insisted that I post this after I let her read it. She said that the tooth-rotting fluff nearly killed her and that she refused to die alone lol
> 
> Cheers!


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